> 'The Philippines is a nation of starstruck ignoramuses'
>
> by Dero Pedero Of Philippine Star
>
> Last July 23, I wrote about Nasty (short for Anastacio), a
> balikbayan from Los Angeles , who, while vacationing in
> Manila , had nothing to say but negative comments about the
> Philippines and the Filipinos. The article elicited a deluge
> of comments from our readers. Though some agreed with his
> curt observations, most were enraged at the repulsive way he
> acted and whined.
>
> For me, he was the classic epitome of the 'crow perched
> on a carabao,' thinking and acting nauseatingly superior
> just because he has become an American citizen, inequitably
> comparing everything here to how they are in the first
> world. I was particularly irked by his repulsive 'know
> it all' attitude and peeved no end by his irritating
> Waray-American twang.
>
> Those who have not read that article may access
> philstar.com and click archives, then select July 23 and
> click Lifestyle_. The article is entitled 'Little
> Brown Americans.'
>
> As a backgrounder, here is an excerpt:
> The next day, I took them on a little city tour and
> accompanied them to do extra shopping at the duty-free shop.
> They were to leave two days later for their respective
> provinces (Randy is from Pampanga, Nasty, from Samar ).
>
> 'God, ang dilem-dilem naman ditow (it is so dark
> here)!' screamed Nasty in his characteristic Taglish
> slang, 'At ang inet-inet pa (and so warm)! * * *
>
> All throughout the day, Nasty complained about everything.
> He griped that all Filipinos he encountered were dense and
> inefficient (I hope that didn't include me!); that the
> traffic was horrendous and drivers 'drove like they were
> late for their funerals'; that the pollution from the
> smoke-belching vehicles was irritating his dainty,
> surgically-pinched nose. He was disgusted that water closets
> didn't work; horrified that there was no toilet paper in
> public toilets ('God, how do you people do it?' he
> bewailed); petrified by street children begging while
> soaking wet in the rain ('Where are the parents of these
> kids?' he nagged).
>
> He moaned about the proliferation of slums, people crossing
> the superhighways ('There should be underground or
> overhead walkways for pedestrians! ' he demanded), the
> potholes on the streets, the disgusting garbage and filth
> all over the city, and the annoying floods! And all these
> he observed in just one day!
>
> Weeks after the publication of the article, I took
> Nasty's silence to mean that of contempt and anger. I
> must admit that I didn't care because I was really
> turned off by his arrogance. The good news is, Nasty has
> finally decided to break his silence and give us his side,
> loaded with a big piece of his mind. The bad news is, he
> hits more sensitive chords and it stings.
>
>
>
>
> Nasty's E-Mail :
> Dear Dero,
> My Zen master says, 'Never fight fire with fire.'
> So, I sat in a lotus position, imbibed the ethereal qualities
> of cool mountain water and stoically resisted the temptation
> of answering back to defend myself in rebuttal of your
> article. I kept quiet while you and your readers had a
> charlatan holiday, dissecting and fanning sarcasm on my
> every comment about your country and your people.
>
> I am not mad at you for writing that piece. I was never
> upset at any point, even after your readers from all over
> the world e-mailed in their two-cents' worth. In fact, I
> found it rather amusing and carnival-like. I even felt happy
> that people still came to the defense of your Philippines !
>
> If you noticed, I now refer to the Philippines and
> Filipinos as your country and your people. Every time I went
> back there for vacation, my Filipino-ness always took the
> better of me (blame those damn green mangoes smothered with
> bagoong!) and made me forget that I am, in all reality, what
> you aptly called a 'Little Brown American.' I have
> come to terms with my own identity- I am, after all, an
> American citizen carrying an American passport!
>
> What precipitated my quick decision to sever my ties with
> your country (aside from your ***** of an article) were the
> Abu Sayyaf abductions (que barbaridad!) , the Payatas-like
> downslide of the peso (eat your hearts out, I earn sweet
> American dollars!), the 'devoid of conscience' graft
> and corruption in your government (this has gone on for the
> longest time-how shameful!), and lately, the stupid
> 'Juetengate' and juicy but enraging > 'Boracay' mansion gossips.
With all these, who would be proud to be a Filipino? Besides, to tell you frankly,
> those Erap jokes are no longer funny- they are passe and
> leave a bad taste in the mouth and heart.
>
> No Apology
> If I sounded brash and insensitive with the way I threw my
> comments, well, I cannot do anything about that because
> that is the way I am, and I offer no apology. Here, in
> America , you have to tell it like it is or you'll never
> be taken seriously. I have learned to drop my 'Pinoy
> sugarcoating' because out here, you get nothing done if
> you are meek and sweet and pa-api. Hindi puwede mag-Anita
> Linda dito!
>
> When I commented about your pollution, street children
> mendicants, slums,potholes, toilets that don't work,
> garbage, floods, and most of all, the Pinoys' chronic
> lack of discipline, I was merely putting into words what I
> saw. I can't blame your being blind about your
> country's situation. My Zen=2 0master says, 'One
> cannot easily see the dirt in one's eye.'
>
> I am sure though that you are aware of those sordid
> details, but have grown accustomed to them (like most
> Manile?s have). All the complaints I aired may have hurt
> your pride but what I wanted you to realize is this: The
> things I pointed out are all symptoms of a failing, falling
> nation!
>
> Suffering A National Karma?
> Could yours be a country cursed with a huge national karmic
> debt? It could be payback time, you know. Look back into
> your history, look deep inside your hearts-what could you
> have done as a nation to deserve this fiasco you are in
> today?
>
> What you are faced with didn't just happen overnight-it
> developed and grew into a monster in the course of time.
> Deeply imbedded in the psyche of the Filipino is the
> amalgamation of the characters and events that have impacted
> your lives - Dona Victorina, Dona Concepcion, poor Sisa as
> well the other hilarious and tragic characters of Dr. Jose
> Rizal...
>
> Stonehill... the notorious gangsters immortalized by your
> Filipino movies like Asiong Salonga (hmmm!), et al...the
> killers in your (I thought they'd never end!) massacre
> movies...those cheap, appalling _title_s of your
> movies...those staged 'religious miracles' that your
> naive masses believed...family men with pushy queridas
> (mistresses) ...your crooked politicians, undependable
> police officers and greedy customs collectors.. .your
> bribe-hungry court judges...Imeldific, gloriously smiling
> and crying at the same time, bejeweled. (How very Fellini!)
>
> What you are is the sum total of your history, your
> heritage and culture,your education, the crap that your
> press sensationalizes, the bad icons that your movies
> glorify, the artificial values your advertising extols, the
> bad examples your leaders and role models project. What you
> feed your country's mind is what it becomes. You have
> become the ugly monster that you've created. You are now
> crying all the tears your sickeningly sentimental movies
> wailed out for years and years!
>
> Your Biggest Fault
> If there is one thing that comes to mind, I think your
> biggest fault would be your individual greed. 'Ako
> muna!' seems to be the national mantra. The trouble is,
> very few people think for the common good in a deplorable
> 'to each his own kurakot' festival. Coupled by your
> crab mentality of pushing down others, this can be fatal.
> You think barangay, not national. Hello, everybody else
> around the world is thinking global! Europe is unshackling
> her national boundaries while you are building fences around
> your nipa huts.
>
> Do yourselves a favor and look at your nation as a ship.
> All of you are in it and it is sinking! Realize your
> oneness-what hurts your brother hurts you, too. Think about
> the future of your children and the succeeding generations,
> and do something about it quick before your poor little
> banca plunges forever into the irretrievable depths of
> despair.
>
> Star-Struck Nation
> You are a nation of star-struck ignoramuses. You are easily
> awed by your mo vie stars who are usually nothing but
> uneducated, aquiline- nosed and light-skinned ********
> picked up from some gutter somewhere. I have seen what these
> artistas illusionadas can get away with. They just flash
> their capped-tooth smiles and policemen let them get away
> with traffic violations; they bat their false eyelashes and
> customs officers impose no duty on their suspicious
> balikbayan boxes.
>
> Worst of all, with the Filipino movie industry taking a
> nosedive, hordes of actors and show personalities went into
> politics. It is, as they say, the next best
> 'racket'-there is more money to be made in the
> politicking business than in show business! (And what is
> this I hear that in the coming elections, more are jumping
> into the arena? Mag-hara-kiri na kayo!) How can you expect
> these comedians and actors, who only know how to take
> directions from their directors, to direct your nation? For
> them,politics will just be an 'act'. No big surprise
> here, for they are mere actors with no original _script_s to
> speak, no original visions to share. So what can you expect
> but a government thatis a comedy of errors. Serves you and
> your star- struck nation right!
>
> My Zen master says, 'Give unto Caesar what is due to
> Caesar, but keep Charlie Chaplin on the silver screen to
> make us laugh.' To survive, you must teach your
> citizenry to say no to three things - no to drugs, no to
> stealing and graft and corruption, and no to artistas in
> politics. I hope you've learned your lesson by now.
> (Yours is the onl y country where Mexican soap stars are
> received like royalty in the presidential palace. How
> shoddy! God forbid-Fernando Carrillo might end up being your
> next president. At least he has great abs and doesn't
> wobble like a penguin when he walks!)
>
> For those artistas who honestly believe that they can make
> a positive difference in the Filipino masses' life, they
> must first study law, business and public administration,
> and immerse themselves in the life and passion of Mother
> Teresa. Politics is not an art for dilettante artistas to
> dabble in. It is called 'Political Science,' hello?!
>
> Educate Your Masses
> Educate the masses - especially your electorate. What you
> need is an intelligent vote aside from, of course,
> intelligent candidates. The University of San Carlos in Cebu
> City , founded in 1595, and the University of Santo Tomas in
> Manila , established in 1611, are the oldest universities in
> Asia , and are even older than Harvard. But the standard of
> Pinoy education has deteriorated so much that the
> Philippines ranks among the poorest in the educational
> hierarchy of Asia . Education, education, education -
> that' s what you need in this age of information,
> information, information.
>
> If all your social, religious and political sectors
> don't sit down now and decide to take the Right Way ,
> the Philippines and your children's children will be
> grand losers in the worldwide rush to the future. Education
> is one sure way to salvation. Teach what is right, good,
> beautiful and beneficial. Downplay all negativity if you
> cannot eliminate it altogether.
>
> The Ideal President
> I've got news for you. (As if you didn't already
> know.) No matter whom you put up there as your leader or
> president, it will be the same banana. Even a holy man can
> turn into another J.E. (Judas Escariot) for a few pieces of
> silver. Kumpares, alalays, relatives and cronies will
> encrust like flies and maggots on his cordon sanitaire. And
> it will be the same despicable 'Sa amin na 'to!'
> hullabaloo all over again.
>
> Take an advice from Aling Epang: 'Pumili ng matanda,
> mayaman, mabait, at madaling mamatay.' Get a president
> who is old - so that he is full of wisdom, rich - so he
> won't need to steal more money, goodhearted - so he will
> render heartfelt service to his people, and is in the sunset
> of his life - so that he will think of nothing but gaining
> good points to present when he meets his Creator. And may I
> add: At iisa lang ang pamilya! This is, of course, asking
> for the moon. Just pray fervently for an intelligent leader
> with a pure heart who genuinely loves the common tao!
>
> Magpakatotoo Kayo! Wake up and look at the real you. Enough
> with looking at your reflection in glorious,
> self-embellishing mirrors. The tropical sun can play tricks,
> you know. Do not wait for darkness to fall before you take
> that much-needed long, hard look at your real situation.
>
> Magpakatotoo kayo, ano? This isn't a wake-up call - it
> is the final alarm!
>
> Save the ship while yo u still can. Don't wait till
> your people have no more dreams left to hang on to, no more
> hope to sustain their broken spirits. I came home, spent my
> penny-pinched savings so that even in the minutest way I
> could help your bruised economy. Your politicians sit on
> their fat, farting butts and get balatos (kuno!) in the
> millions. Receivers are as guilty as the givers. Now, tell
> me, who is really nasty?
>
> I Have Made My Decision; So Should You.
> My Zen master says, 'Life is all about decisions, not
> choices.' I have made a decision which I know will be
> very hard for me to keep- You will never hear from me again
> (not in this vein) and I will not even think of visiting or
> buwisiting your Manila ever. This is my way of letting you
> know that I have given up on you. Bahala na kayo! Only you
> can help yourselves because at the stage you are in, nobody
> would want to help you. My Zen master says, 'You have to
> fall to learn to rise again.'
>
> How much lower do you want to go?
> Anyway, regarding the Philippines as a tourist destination,
> you have a lot of cleaning up and face-lifting to do before
> foreigners would dare go to your islands again. The Abu
> Sayyaf episode has done your tourism industry more damage
> than you could ever imagine, and it will take a long time
> before the world forgets. (By the way, your tourism projects
> are lusterless and have no global impact. If you want real
> business, spruce up your infrastructure and do aggressive
> marketing on the World Wide Web!)
>
> Of course, I would gladly reverse my decision if someone
> offered me exclusive lordship over lotto, bingo, jueteng,
> pintakasi and the jai alai.Think about it: this will be to
> your advantage because I never give tong or blood commission
> to anyone! (If only your president used the millions he
> received from those gambling lords to build homes for the
> masses, you wouldn't have any more squatters. Huling
> hirit: defrost those Marcos billions, pay off some debt,
> place the rest in high-yield investments, feed your hungry,
> and spread bounty and joy to every Filipino! Are you stupid
> or what? - That's your money sucked from the blood of
> your people!)
>
> My Zen master says, 'Vox populi is not always the
> voice of God.'
> Come over to L.A and I'll show you a great time!
>
>
> Our friend Randy says hello! We will be going
> to Vancouver to feast our eyes on the colors of autumn. Wish
> you could join us.
>
> The new Miss America , Angela Perez
> Baraquio, is of Filipino ancestry. Dero, her parents hail
> from Pangasinan just like you! But keep in mind that she is
> an American (in case some wise fools over there claim her to
> be Filipino like they always do whenever someone becomes
> successful). Wait for the girl to say it don't put words in her mouth!
> Mabuhay kayo ( SANA )!
> Sa totoo lang, MAGD USA KAYONG LAHAT!
> (Don't you just love my Waray-Kano accent?) He-he-he!
>
I have made my decision, now make yours. I would hate for
> the day to come when I'd have to say, 'I told you
> so!' Good luck! (You need it.)
>
> An ex-Filipino
> J. Anastasio
> 'Nasty'
>
>
>
>
My Short Reply :
>
>
>
> Dear Nasty,
> Thanks for your e-mail. I swear you sort of stole the words
> from right under my tongue. Now, I am utterly speechless.
>
> Send my regards to Randy. Wishing you the best!
>
>
>
> God Bless
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